ECSTATIC FRESHNESS

I hope you all had a festive Halloween this past weekend, I know I did.  I went to two parties with my boys and a party with my girlfriend (she’ll come into this later) and I’ve noticed something for maybe the past 5 years or so that is perpetually happening.  Now, before I say this…it’s a good thing…f*ck that, it’s a great thing, but it’s something I didn’t really notice until a conversation with my boys came up at said party.  By the pictures you see where I’m going, right?

Well, I know it’s been a while since I’ve written an entry and I’m sure by the title and photo above, you know where this entry is going.  Yes, the recent divorce of one of my favorite emcees and Hip-Hop legend, Nas, the ensuing divorce of one Mr. Eldrick Tont “Tiger” Woods and also a good friend of mine from graduate school, who is going through a divorce has influenced me to write.  Not particularly on divorce per se, but on the financial cleansing that ensues from it.

This entry is more about the question, “Is that enough to make you happy?”.  I remember this question from Marvin Gaye’s Here My Dear album, which had a song by the name of ’Is That Enough’.  I’m sure by now you’ve heard about the divorce settlement between Nas and Kelis and the projected settlement between Tiger and Elin Woods.  I get that allegedly Nas cheated on Kelis in the marriage and it’s safe to say that Tiger did the same, but with multiple hoes women…and that sucks (no jumpoff) and that friend of mine that’s going through divorce that I spoke of…let’s just say from what he told me, it’s a big misunderstanding (his words, not mine).  I guess my question is,  when does marital indiscretions (or alleged indiscretions) become financial decimation to the 5th power…or more?  Now before you roll your eyes (yeah, you…lol), I’m not saying that these men don’t deserve to reap the consequences of their actions – let me be clear, THEY WERE WRONG, but $750 Million, Elin?  Word? Read more…

...you said what?

Dear John,

    I like your music…a lot and I read what you said and I honestly don’t believe you are a racist.  I really think that you are well aware of why black people f*ck with you your black fans.  I really think you just (like some non-black people with a lot of black friends do) got too ”comfortable” and exemplified that comfort in an aspect of public media that doesn’t quite get what you meant and sensationalized your intention versus their interpretation.  Maybe my love for your music is tainting my better judgement…I don’t know.  Hey, if you don’t dig black women like that, fine…we all have our likes and dislikes, but sometimes in an effort to exhibit wittiness, we offend those that once appreciated the effort.  Read more…

I just landed in Chicago to bring the new year in with a few of my closest friends and wanted to wish the readers of Ecstatic Freshness a Happy New Year.  Let’s continue to strive for greatness, love our families, support the fallen, laugh until we cry, expand our minds, have a voice and use it, eat better, stay fresher, be more bold, volunteer (no AkShone, lol) and be the change you want to see in the world (shout out to Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi). 

Be safe y’all and bring in the new year like this…

…I know I will.  Do it BIG.

Bryceness – Mr. Not-So-Nice Guy

You Don't Want to Hear the Truth, So I'm Gonna Lie To You, Make It Sound Fly to You...

We’re really big fans of Tariq “Elite” Nasheed here at EF (especially me).  Now, I don’t agree with everything the man says, but I admire the guy because he genuinely cares to empower men (not at the expense of women empowerment, either) and does it in a very intellectual, yet relatable way.  I personally think that is something that is missing in society as a whole for men.

We both grew up with our fathers in our households and had numerous positive male role models in our lives…even to this day.  Some other guys didn’t.  No positive male role model to teach them to have integrity, lust self improvement, gain self-esteem, have ambition, build confidence; and I’m not saying that Tariq Nasheed should be that for them, but he is a start and if you listen to him regularly, you’ll see that he’s really putting “vegetables in your candy” so-to-speak.  I know some of his detractors think he’s crass, misogynistic, deceptive and a negative person who teaches others to be that way (let’s just say, he won’t be on Oprah anytime soon).  I disagree, I’ve read his books and listened to his podcast and he has a huge following of mostly men, but women also that takes the core of his “game” as ways to improve yourself in all aspects of life.

Real always recognizes real and I think he has an integrity that you don’t see in a lot of people with that type of mass appeal.  Anyway, I’m probably going to post some key shows of his once in a while for those of you who are not familiar.  Give it a chance; you’ll see what I mean.

Check out this show:

Bryceness – Mr. Not-So-Nice Guy

I was in a two year relationship with her and all I got was this shirt.

So, I was talking to a very close friend of mine this past weekend and she was telling me about a discussion she had with her new victim beau.  They talked about past relationships and the subject of cheating came up.  She said how she has never cheated in a relationship, that when it got to a less-than-desirable point she’d just end it.  Well, ol’ boy said that he has cheated before, he added that it was when he was younger and his outlook on relationships at that time was immature and limited. 

The conversation moved on to other aspects, but she said to me how she couldn’t get over his past indiscretions with his girfriends.  At this point I’m giving her the ol’ Eli Porter look, so she stops after noticing my obvious disagreement and asked why I didn’t agree with the notion “Once a cheater, always a cheater”. 

I’ll tell you what I told her.  

“You’re right, he’s probably cheating on you right now!” 

This whole notion that once a person cheats in life, they’ll always be a cheater is malarkey (whatever that means)…it’s simply an untruth.  Now before you disagree, hear me out.  I’m not saying that a person that has cheated won’t cheat again, maybe…maybe not.  However, I am saying that just because a person has cheated in the past doesn’t mean they will in the future.   

You object? Good. 

Here’s my theory, and let me preface this by saying that I am not pro-cheat, have I in the past…I plead the fif.  Now, moving on.  In my opinion, there are 3 reasons why a cheater will not cheat again if they cheated in the past. 

1. Youth - Ah, the naïveté of youth.  See, as my homegirl’s boo put it, “I was a youngin’, babe”, and I agree with the young chap.  We’ve all made those type of mistakes when we where younger.  How do we learn to become better partners in a relationship without making mistakes?  I don’t know about women, but most boys are conditioned to be a bit of a “ladies man” at some point in their young lives (present company included).  That even multiples if you have “assets”, (looks, popularity, smarts, athleticism, money…and let’s not even go there if you had it all) so a youngin’ might get deterred with the amount of attention he receives from women. 

2. Remorse – If you’ve been a cheater, you’ve probably seen what it can do to an otherwise great relationship.  The hurt, anger, broken trust and overall disconnect that happens after the jig is up.  You realize what you’ve done, seen and felt the effects.  The remnants of your indiscretions can break friendships with friends and family (both sides) and last, but certainly not least…EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CHEATED, and that’s enough to make you want to take some time off, like Kanye. 

3. Stress - The constant possibility of being caught, the lies, the hiding, the not-being-able-to-lay-your-phone-down-when-she’s-in-the-room kind of stress.  The stress of possibly contracting a STD or passing said STD on to your significant other!  How about the stress of the person you’re cheating with “turning snitch” and outing your affair?  Who needs that stress?  What, with all the other things in life that already build stress…you think a person wants more? No Buena, senorita. 

I stated my reasons.  Will she listen to me?  Of course not Maybe. What do you all think?  Will a cheater continue to be a cheater?   

Will Detox ever drop?  Can Nike make an ill pair of kicks that won’t cost me over $200?  Will Rosa Acosta accept my proposal for marriage and have two children by me that we’ll teach to be bilingual? 

These are the questions, questions…questions. 

Bryceness – aka “Mr. Not-So-Nice-Guy”