ECSTATIC FRESHNESS

I was in a two year relationship with her and all I got was this shirt.

So, I was talking to a very close friend of mine this past weekend and she was telling me about a discussion she had with her new victim beau.  They talked about past relationships and the subject of cheating came up.  She said how she has never cheated in a relationship, that when it got to a less-than-desirable point she’d just end it.  Well, ol’ boy said that he has cheated before, he added that it was when he was younger and his outlook on relationships at that time was immature and limited. 

The conversation moved on to other aspects, but she said to me how she couldn’t get over his past indiscretions with his girfriends.  At this point I’m giving her the ol’ Eli Porter look, so she stops after noticing my obvious disagreement and asked why I didn’t agree with the notion “Once a cheater, always a cheater”. 

I’ll tell you what I told her.  

“You’re right, he’s probably cheating on you right now!” 

This whole notion that once a person cheats in life, they’ll always be a cheater is malarkey (whatever that means)…it’s simply an untruth.  Now before you disagree, hear me out.  I’m not saying that a person that has cheated won’t cheat again, maybe…maybe not.  However, I am saying that just because a person has cheated in the past doesn’t mean they will in the future.   

You object? Good. 

Here’s my theory, and let me preface this by saying that I am not pro-cheat, have I in the past…I plead the fif.  Now, moving on.  In my opinion, there are 3 reasons why a cheater will not cheat again if they cheated in the past. 

1. Youth - Ah, the naïveté of youth.  See, as my homegirl’s boo put it, “I was a youngin’, babe”, and I agree with the young chap.  We’ve all made those type of mistakes when we where younger.  How do we learn to become better partners in a relationship without making mistakes?  I don’t know about women, but most boys are conditioned to be a bit of a “ladies man” at some point in their young lives (present company included).  That even multiples if you have “assets”, (looks, popularity, smarts, athleticism, money…and let’s not even go there if you had it all) so a youngin’ might get deterred with the amount of attention he receives from women. 

2. Remorse – If you’ve been a cheater, you’ve probably seen what it can do to an otherwise great relationship.  The hurt, anger, broken trust and overall disconnect that happens after the jig is up.  You realize what you’ve done, seen and felt the effects.  The remnants of your indiscretions can break friendships with friends and family (both sides) and last, but certainly not least…EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CHEATED, and that’s enough to make you want to take some time off, like Kanye. 

3. Stress - The constant possibility of being caught, the lies, the hiding, the not-being-able-to-lay-your-phone-down-when-she’s-in-the-room kind of stress.  The stress of possibly contracting a STD or passing said STD on to your significant other!  How about the stress of the person you’re cheating with “turning snitch” and outing your affair?  Who needs that stress?  What, with all the other things in life that already build stress…you think a person wants more? No Buena, senorita. 

I stated my reasons.  Will she listen to me?  Of course not Maybe. What do you all think?  Will a cheater continue to be a cheater?   

Will Detox ever drop?  Can Nike make an ill pair of kicks that won’t cost me over $200?  Will Rosa Acosta accept my proposal for marriage and have two children by me that we’ll teach to be bilingual? 

These are the questions, questions…questions. 

Bryceness – aka “Mr. Not-So-Nice-Guy”